You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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