i just had sex bonerless
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
