she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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