Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
