he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
