she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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