i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
They are going to name an STD after you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
