Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize