I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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