so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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