She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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