it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
