I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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