Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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