So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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