I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
