Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
