Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
