I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't think brook has ever known best
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
