There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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