so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
