What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
