people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
