u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
