Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
