why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize