I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
