Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Michael Bay diarrhea
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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