what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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