O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
