I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
