Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
