If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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