Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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