I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
