she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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