I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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