it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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