I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
