Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
