We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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