I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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