Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
