Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize