Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
