I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
