He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
