walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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