Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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