Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
