why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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