its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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