dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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