I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
they need to just BURY HIM!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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