I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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