I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
