Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This is my gift to your gina
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
