how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
