you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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