My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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