I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize