we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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