I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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