please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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