he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize